Guest Napper #69 – Sleepy Surfing
At first, when I saw this picture Emma sent of her son Sirius, I thought “Eh, he’s sleeping on an ottoman. We’ve seen that before.”
But he’s not. Look more closely.
Surfing the microsuede...
In fact, Sirius is balanced on the arm of this couch. He looks like he conked out there on the way to his workout, but this shouldn’t be a problem. I’m quite sure his abs are getting toned as he sleeps.
How does one drift off peacefully, while balancing on the arm of a couch? I’m not sure (as I have never done it) but I’ve spotted a familiar culprit, lying facedown on the seat to his left.
Grilled cheese. Buzz Lightyear. The list of clues grows in the quest to find the perfect sleep-inducing environment.
Peace out, little surf dude. Peace out.
Burgeoning Black Belt
Ralph Macchio, step aside.
Daniel-san: How come you didn’t tell me?
Mr. Miyagi: Tell you what?
Daniel-san: That you knew karate?
Mr. Miyagi: You never ask?
"sweep the leg..."
A friend of mine once observed that there must be a huge market for karate schools because every time a strip mall goes up, the first thing to show up is a martial arts storefront. He is very wise, my friend.
But we have found a new way to save money. The industrious Cormac-san has proved to be a prodigy when it comes to napping and preparing for competition – all without any troublesome karate school.
The Crane - None Can Defeat It
Also, he has been doing triple time as a dog walker, to earn money so he can hire an eager high school student to “wax on, wax off” for him. According to eighties film, that is another good way to learn karate. If you want to go the less awesome Jackie Chan/Jaden Smith route, I guess it’s all about hanging up your jacket over and over again. Sadly, hanging up jackets is a skill that neither William nor Cormac has shown any aptitude for, whatsoever.
You can’t be good at everything. I’m so sure – do you think Will and Jada’s kids can nap like this?
Use karate only for self-sleep-defense.
But perhaps we disturb this young pupil. As Mr. Miyagi said, we should “leave boy alone to train.”
Indeed. Let him pursue the mastery of sleep.
Guest Napper #67 – Flying Friendly-like
With my good friend Allison at Motherhood WTF preparing to take an epic flight to New Zealand, I found this picture of wee future traveler Adora to be particularly apt.
Adora’s mom, Ruth, tells me this girl was sitting in her Bumbo waiting for a meal, and I’ll be damned if I haven’t had this experience on an overstuffed jet crossing the Atlantic many a time.
Only I never recline my seat all the way, people.
Quick nap before meal service
I think Ruth is going to have to explain to Adora that only huge men with stinky feet recline their seats all the way when meal service is ramping up. How the heck is a person to eat her custard with some guy’s greasy head pushing it into her lap?
In the meantime, I guess we should still take a moment to appreciate Adora’s flexibility. She will no doubt make a superb globetrotter. Once she gets out of this infernal Bumbo.
Keep the skies friendly for Allison, friends. Recline halfway. Over and out.
Guest Napper #66 – Upholstered Exhaustion
These pictures Jen sent me of her daughter Cecelia remind me of how I feel at 10pm on some weekdays.
In short, I’m just done.
I’m just done, people.
I can neither confirm nor deny that Cecelia has been teaching class, but she sure looks like she knows my pain. Perhaps she had a bad day getting those unruly teddy bears to attend to their alphabet.
It’s just so demoralizing.
Did she fall asleep beating her fists on the chair? Railing against the human condition, wherein one must labor uphill every day and never make progress?
Dunno, but she’s out cold now.
Sweet dreams, girlfriend. May you find respite from the rat race.