Culprit is Cornered
Nobody in my house will accept responsibility for the violence directed at this poor, snowy white stuffed dog. Even worse, nobody will take responsibility for the concurrent destruction of my Bobbi Brown lipstick. BOBBI BROWN, ladies. You feel me?
Dog suffers dastardly crime…
I go in search of the culprit and discover a potential suspect, who has holed up in a hideout, barricading himself inside.
Anybody in there? Show yourself!
I order the person of interest to come out and explain himself. There is no sound.
Letting his guard down.
Circling the structure with catlike subtlety, I peer in through a hole in the wall. There he is, enjoying the sleep of the innocents. I’m remain unconvinced.
We’ll question him when he wakes up.
I’ll have to wait outside, lest he sneak out and make off in his getaway car. In the meantime, doggy is getting a bath on the “hot” cycle, with some bleach.
The prognosis for a good nap is excellent. The prognosis for a clean puppy is not good. The prognosis for my lipstick is too depressing for me to discuss right now.
Hey Girl, Let’s Take a Nap
A single, child-free friend of mine once remarked that she would go insane living in my house, because I appear to have constant couch cushion chaos. I refrained from pointing out that I have already gone insane.
This picture provides no real clues to how William ended up sleeping under the toy box, but it does provide compelling evidence that there is a malevolent force at work in my media room downstairs. Heck – in every room. Friends, I present Exhibit A: Child Unconscious on Pile of Furniture Rubble.
My money is on aliens...
What’s really calloused here is how William continues to play Xbox with no concern for his brother’s well-being. If he were Ryan Gosling, he’d be like “Hey girl, I know you get all concerned when we sleep buried in piles of rubble, but it’s okay, girl. You know how we are, girl.”
...it'll be his turn soon.
William is probably using this opportunity to level up in Lego Star Wars, seeing as how his bro isn’t as good at the game as he is. Toddler motor skills.
Go away. I'm sleeping.
Hey girl, I know you get your undies in a bunch when we wreck the house. But you know how much virile energy we have, girl. You know how it is.
What happened here?
I really sat sort of speechless in front of this photo for a few minutes and thought, “What, exactly, happened here?”
It looks as if my five-year-old was playing a two-player Xbox game, when he was suddenly buried under an ottoman and a toy box. And then…he got tired and fell asleep?
Yeah. I got nothin’…
How does a person prepare a bed of pillows and wrap himself in his blankie before being surprised by an avalanche of playroom furniture? Sadly, there wasn’t a good samaritan in sight to help pull him out of this awkward situation. Perhaps he played each controller until the batteries ran out and then succumbed to exhaustion, hoping a parent would find him.
Don’t give up hope, William!
The worst part is that he was just a couple of feet from his half-eaten grilled cheese. He can almost reach it.
Hang on, my man. Mama is coming!
Sleeping By Surprise
Sometimes, of an afternoon, I let the boys have their lunch on a tray in the basement while they watch a movie. They call this “picnic” and it’s good, clean fun. Apparently, it’s also very tiring…at least for Cormac.
Grilled cheese gross out?
William has eaten half of his sandwich, but Cormac didn’t even make it to the cherry tomatoes before he crashed out. William seems unconcerned.
In fact, this impromptu naps seems to have hit Cormac like a freight train, leaving him open-mouthed with surprise. At least he thought to take his shoes off, first.
Blue Puppy was surprised, too.
Squished Sleep
As if he doesn’t know the drill by now. Puhleeze.