Category Archives: Guest Napper

Guest Napper #55: SHHHH! I’m Shopping!

♦ December 23, 2011 ♦ 2 Comments

I just got back from Wegmans. At 9 a.m., the entire produce section was like a piranha feeding frenzy. The olive bar resembled a game of Duck, Duck, Goose, with patrons circling the kalamatas like anxious predators. Tense shoppers parked their carts in gridlocked spots around the cheese island, looking like they need a Valium …

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Guest Napper #49 – Puppet Party

♦ November 23, 2011 ♦ 1 Comment

This week, I was talking with some friends about their sons’ obsessions with things like trains and firetrucks. When I asked one of these firemen-obsessed boys if he’d like to be a fireman when he grows up, he thoughtfully informed me, “I don’t know. I can be lots of things.” Serves me right for asking …

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Guest Napper #48

♦ November 18, 2011 ♦ 2 Comments

So I heard about this guy somewhere who has been camped out in front of Best Buy for days already, wanting to be first in line on Black Friday. Sort of like Occupy Big Box, I guess. My friend Rachel caught her daughter Sarah in a nap that makes me think of him, although I …

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Guest Napper #47 – Conked Out Cobra

♦ November 17, 2011 ♦ 2 Comments

As Kurt Vonnegut  George Washington  The Great Pumpkin Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich famously said during a commencement speech over a decade ago, Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’98: Wear sunscreen.  Breaking a long nap strike, Beta Dad’s “Twin A” (a.k.a. Cobra) has fallen asleep prepared for a lifetime of sun safety, as Mary Schmich …

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